Ḥayāʾ: More Than Just Modesty in Islam | Yaqeen Institute for Islamic Research (2024)

Introduction

In the name of Allah, the Most Merciful, the Grantor of Mercy

All praise be to Allah, and may His finest peace and blessings be upon His final prophet, Muhammad ﷺ, who said, “I have not been sent except to perfect noble character.”

Cultivating good character and moral excellence—towards God and towards His creation—is therefore the primary objective of Islam. But in order to effectively develop this in people, Islam centralized certain moral qualities that serve a foundational role upon which all other virtues can be built.Ḥayāʾ(healthy shame) is without doubt from among these qualities, so much so that the Prophet ﷺ deemed it the very hallmark of Islam by saying, “Every religion has its signature character trait, and the signature character trait of Islam isḥayāʾ.”

This paper will primarily summarize a published study

by Dr. Muhammad Ismail al-Muqaddim (an Islamic scholar and clinical psychiatrist) onḥayāʾ, its value, and the domains in which it operates in our lives.

Welcome back!

Bookmark content

Download resources easily

Manage your donations

Track your spiritual growth

What isḥayāʾ?

Ḥayāʾcarries the meanings of conscientiousness, shame, modesty, bashfulness, and all related feelings that deter a person from behaving indecently. It is derived from ḥayāh (life), because Arabs considered people’s “being alive” directly proportionate to their experiencingḥayāʾ. To them, a person devoid of theḥayāʾthat prevents them from violating their own moral code is less of a living human being, and more akin to a wild beast whose lower appetites drive it to unprincipled behavior. This is why, in pre-Islamic Arabia, their poetry often praisedḥayāʾand valor in tandem; a warrior was expected to embrace a dignified death over the dishonor of fleeing the battlefield in order to survive. Shamelessness was a greater tragedy to them than the loss of life. They also held that those withoutḥayāʾare not truly alive in light of their numb conscience; they appear divorced from the pangs of guilt, and not sensing pain is an obvious characteristic of the deceased.

The wordshameimmediately conjures a variety of negative connotations; this is no accident. The proliferation of individualism in the modern era has stripped concepts like shame from nearly all of their positive connotations. However, psychologists continue to emphasize the potency and indispensability ofhealthy shame, as opposed to its toxic counterpart which can be paralyzing and destructive to our well-being. They illustrate how shame can serve as an internal alarm that helps us feel accountable for our wrongs while an opportunity remains to correct them. It catches our attention before we plow forward in irreparable ways. According to psychotherapist Dr. John Amodeo, people with an unhealthy repression of shame are more likely to experience personality disorders and unsuccessful relationships, since they will usually project blame on others and accept little themselves. The cruelty of sociopaths and the manipulation of pathological liars are both squarely predicated on their lack of shame. They are not “inconvenienced” by any guilt associated with their behavior.

All these positive aspects of healthy shame were captured by the early scholars of Islam. Ibn al-Qayyim, for instance, writes:

Ḥayāʾis of the most superior qualities, of the greatest in status, and of the most beneficial. Indeed, it is quintessential to humanness, for whoever carries noḥayāʾhas no share of humanness other than flesh, blood, and outward appearance. Likewise, there is no potential for good in a person [without it]. Were it not for this quality, he would never be hospitable to a guest, keep a promise, fulfill a trust, take care of anyone’s needs, prefer what is pleasant, avoid the obscene, cover his private parts, or abstain from fornication. Were it not forḥayāʾ, many people would not have fulfilled any of their obligations, nor acknowledged the rights of any being, nor kept the ties of kin, nor even shown kindness to parents. The driving element in these acts is either religious, namely hoping for its good outcome [ultimately], or it is worldly, which is theḥayāʾof its doer from the [eyes of] creation. Therefore, were it not for ḥayāʾfrom either the Creator or the creation, one would not haveengagedin these acts.

The peculiarity of our age aside, the positive potential of shame is something universally appreciated across most civilizations. This paper, however, is intended to exploreḥayāʾin Islamic ethics in particular, to revisit its lofty status in Islam’s sacred texts, and to identify its praiseworthy manifestations in day-to-day life.

Welcome back!

Bookmark content

Download resources easily

Manage your donations

Track your spiritual growth

Instinctualḥayāʾ

According to the Qur’an, once Ādam and Ḥawwāʾعليهما السلامate from the forbidden tree, they rushed to cover their bodies with leaves, as they suddenly became aware and ashamed of their nakedness for the very first time.

One may call this the birth of instinctualḥayāʾ, or the inborn faculty in Ādam’s progeny to feel uneasy about their nakedness,

and whatever else they consider disgraceful or unbefitting. Islam then called people to enhance thisḥayāʾthrough faith, whereby they nurture their spirituality to become better acquainted with God, more cognizant of His nearness, more observant of His blessings, and more vigilant of His wrath. But in essence,ḥayāʾis an innate quality.

Al-Munāwī says, “Ḥayāʾconsists of two types. There is the natural type which is created within every soul, like that which is triggered by a private part becoming uncovered or having sexual relations in public. Then there is the faith-based, which is what prevents a Muslim from committing the forbidden out of fear of Allah.” Dhū al-Nūn al-Miṣri (d. 859) defines the latter as “finding an intimidation and sadness in the heart due to the acts you have done before your Lord.” Therefore, nurturedḥayāʾhas both preventive and redemptive functions vis-a-vis righteousness, whileḥayāʾat its core exists in thefiṭrahas the underpinning of every human’s nature irrespective of religion.

But just as this heightened faith-basedḥayāʾcan grow to become as natural as the inbornḥayāʾ, people can also become deconditioned by society to find all notions of ḥayāʾforeign and oppressive. For this reason, Islam did not come with a system that assumed that the originalḥayāʾremains intact; rather it recognizes thatḥayāʾcan be reinstated and/or rehabilitated when it has been compromised.

The ten shades ofḥayāʾ

InMadārij al-Sālikīn, Ibn al-Qayyim subdividedḥayāʾinto ten categories:

Theḥayāʾof guilt; this is like theḥayāʾof Ādam عليه السلامwhen he fled in Paradise after committing a sin. It is reported that Allah said to him, “Are you fleeing from Me, O Ādam?” He said, “No, my Lord! Rather, out ofḥayāʾfrom You.”
Theḥayāʾof inaptitude; this is like theḥayāʾof the angels who tirelessly glorify Allah by night and day. Then, once the Day of Resurrection begins, they say, “Glorified You are! We have not worshipped You as You deserve to be worshipped.”
Theḥayāʾof awe; this is theḥayāʾof being deeply acquainted with the greatness of Allah. Thisḥayāʾintensifies in proportion to the slave’s knowledge of their Lord.
Theḥayāʾof generosity; this is like theḥayāʾof the Prophet ﷺ from those he invited to Zaynab’s wedding dinner. They overstayed their welcome, but he ﷺ was too shy to tell them, so he simply stood and left.
Theḥayāʾof chastity; this is like theḥayāʾof ʿAlī b. Abī Ṭālibرضي الله عنهwhich prevented him from asking the Messenger of Allah ﷺ about washing away pre-seminal fluid, as he was married to his daughter.
Theḥayāʾof humility; this is like theḥayāʾof the slave from his Lord, the Mighty and Majestic, when he asks Him for his needs. This may stem from the asker belittling himself and realizing the enormity of his sins, or from grasping the greatness of the One being asked.
Theḥayāʾof love; this is theḥayāʾof the lover of his beloved. It is so powerful that whenever his beloved, who is absent, simply comes to mind, an unexplainable ḥayāʾ may flare in his heart and heat his face. Most people do not realize why they tremble and become bashful upon suddenly seeing their beloved. This is caused by the heart sensing the beloved’s authority over it, and hence that thrill and fear overtakes it.
Theḥayāʾof servitude;thisḥayāʾis necessitated by a blend of love, fear, and recognizing that a person must serve Allah, but can never do so adequately due to His incomprehensible grandeur.
Theḥayāʾof dignity; this is theḥayāʾof a noble soul when it feels that it acted towards others in a way that is beneath its standards of dignity, be it in sacrifice, generosity, or kindness.
Theḥayāʾfrom oneself; this is theḥayāʾof a noble soul when it detects its own deficiency, or that it has settled for less. It is almost as if one has two souls, one ashamed of the other. This is the most completeḥayāʾ, for if people were to be ashamed of themselves, then by greater virtue, they would become ashamed in front of others.

Ḥayāʾin Islam

Islam calls us to revive our internal compass and protect our sense of self-respect, by accentuating ourḥayāʾand amplifying it withtaqwá(God consciousness). It validates the fear of feeling inadequate as an incentive that can begin us on the journey to piety. From there, one’s veneration and love for God are cultivated to immunize a person from all that could jeopardize their standing with Him.Ḥayāʾtherefore constitutes the first layer of moral insulation, that which garbs us against the elements of indecency around us. Taqwá is the second layer, an earned upgrade inḥayāʾwhich further reinforces it for the believer. With regards to Allah’s words, “The garment oftaqwá—that isbest,” Sufyān b. ʿUyaynah said, “Ḥayāʾis the most elementary form oftaqwá, and the servant does not fear [Allah] until he first experiences shame. How else did the pious reach piety except through ḥayāʾ?”

The Qur’an esteemsḥayāʾand those who possess it. For instance, Allah captures for us in the Qur’an how Mūsáعليه السلامassisted the disadvantaged women at the well of Madyan, and then immediately “walked away to the shade” (al-Qaṣaṣ 28: 24) without socializing with them or requesting payment for his service. Such behaviors were prevented by hisḥayāʾ, for the first is contrary to propriety and the second to chivalry. A few verses later, Allah says, “One of the two women then came to him walking withḥayāʾ. She said, ‘My father invites you to reward you for having watered [our animals] for us.’” (al-Qaṣaṣ 28: 25) Many scholars oftafsīrexplain that this verse was clearly structured to celebrate this woman’s multifacetedḥayāʾ. To explain, based on areciter’schoice of where to pause in this verse and from where to resume, the termḥayāʾcould be describing her stride (walking withḥayāʾ) or her voice (withḥayāʾ, she said). Furthermore, she made sure to establish that she was not inviting him herself but rather only as an envoy of her father, whose old age prevented him from extending the invitation himself.

Ḥayāʾis so valued in the Sunnah that exceptions were made in some of its firmest laws out of consideration for it.Marital officiation, for instance, is treated with the utmost sensitivity in Islam. Due to there being no room for ambiguity in such a consequential agreement, jurists agree that only an immediate, explicit, verbal declaration of mutual approval is acceptable for a valid marriage to take effect. Yet, a concession was afforded to women whoseḥayāʾoverwhelms them due to not having expressed interest in a man before this. ʿĀʾishahرضي الله عنها, narrates that when the Messenger of Allah ﷺ instructed families to consult women before marrying them off, she said to him, “She (the virgin) would be too shy to speak.” He ﷺ said, “Then, her consent is her silence.”

Elsewhere, the Prophet’s Sunnah authorizedḥayāʾas a legitimate gauge by which a believer with a sound heart can discern between vice and virtue. He ﷺ told al-Nuwās b. Samʿānرضي الله عنه, “Righteousness is good manners, and sin is that which discomfits your chest, and that which you would hate for people to discover.”

Ḥayāʾis a quality of Allah

The greatest virtue ofḥayāʾis it being an inherent attribute of the Divine Himself. Several hadith(s) establish that Allah (the Mighty and Majestic) isḥayī, meaning abundant inḥayāʾ,meaningit is His ever-present characteristic. Salmānرضي الله عنهnarrates that the Prophet ﷺ said, “Allah is indeedḥayīand generous; when a person raises their hands to Him [in supplication], He is too shy to send them back empty and disappointed.”

Of course, Allah’s qualities exist perfectly in Him, unlike their counterparts in created beings. Al-Mubārakfūrī explains that “ascribingḥayāʾtoAllah (the Most High) is understood in a fashion befitting of Him, just like the rest of His attributes which we must believe in without delving into the details of how they relate [to Allah].” Such is the framework set by the Qur’an: “There is nothing similar to Him, and He is the All-Hearing, All-Seeing” (al-Shūrá 42:11). Ibn al-Qayyim says, “As for theḥayāʾof the Lord (the Exalted) of His slave, this is a different type. Understandings cannot fathom it, nor can intelligence encompass it. It is aḥayāʾof nobility, kindness, generosity, and glory. He (the Blessed and Exalted) isḥayīand generous; too shy to return His slave’s hands empty after he had raised them to Him, and too shy to punish the elderly whose hair has grown white in Islam.”

Yaʿlá b. Umayyahرضي الله عنهnarrates that the Messenger of Allah ﷺ said, “Allah is indeedḥayīandsittīr; He lovesḥayāʾandsitr. Hence, when one of you bathes, he must conceal himself.’

Sittīris a superlative ofsitr(concealment), meaning Allah treasures concealment, hates that people’s bodies be exposed unnecessarily, and loves those who observeḥayāʾandsitrfrom others. The only exception made by the Prophet ﷺ was for lawful partners, perhaps due to the visual elements enhancing their physical gratification. In fact, when he ﷺ was asked in that same context, “What about a man sitting naked while all alone?,” he said, “Allah is more deserving [than anyone] thatḥayāʾbe exhibited in front of Him.”

All degrees of nakedness, such as revealing any body part or its shape, in a context prohibited by the Shariah—for men or women—would be contrary to thisḥayāʾandsitrwhich is so dear to Allah that it is one of His qualities.

Allah’s love forḥayāʾandsitreven extends to our sins. He hates that a person exposes himself, and loves to veil people from public disgrace. This may be unexpected, especially when Allah benefits nothing from this whatsoever, but His sublime nobility necessitates concealing us from being humiliated in the eyes of others, or being punished straightaway by Him. Yaḥyá b. Muʿādh said, “Exalted is the One whose slave sins, and yet He is the One who becomes shy.” He would also say, “Whoever hasḥayāʾof Allah when obeying Him, Allah hasḥayāʾof him when he sins.” Ibn al-Qayyim explains this:

Whoever exhibitsḥayāʾ, even during acts of obedience, wherein his heart is cast between his Lord’s hands in shame and intimidation… Were such a person to fall into sin, Allah (the Glorified and Exalted) is shy to look at him in this state, due to his significance in Allah’s eyes. He hasḥayāʾto see His cherished slave, who is valuable to Him, in such a foul state… In everyday life, we see this. Were a man to come across someone very dear, beloved, and near to him—perhaps a child, companion, or another loved one—while they are betraying him, this discovery brings about a strange feeling ofḥayā, as if he were the criminal, and this is the peak ofnobility.

As for those who do not haveḥayāʾand therefore continue to disobey Allah, Allah does not haveḥayāʾfrom punishing them in this world and the next. These are people for whom the gates of redemption are blocked, or shut entirely, and they will have to pay for their crimes despite Allah’s vast mercy. The Prophet ﷺ said, “My entire nation is pardoned except for those who publicize [their sins]. And a form of publicizing is when a person commits [a sin] at night, then he says in the morning despite Allah having concealed it, ‘O so-and-so, I did such and such last night.’ He spent his night being concealed by Allah, and then tore Allah’s cover off himself in the morning.”

Ḥayāʾis the hallmark of the prophets

Ḥayāʾis the legacy of all the prophets. It has been protected by Allah from going extinct, despite the many distortions and abrogations their messages faced. Abū Masʿūd al-Badrīرضي الله عنهnarrates that the Prophet ﷺ said about this, “Indeed, of what people have retained from the words of the first prophethood is: If you feel noḥayāʾ, then do as you wish.”

God’s prophets not only taught this virtue consistently throughout the generations, but they were also the best of those who embodied it from among God’s creation.

In one hadith, the Messenger of Allah ﷺ said, “Mūsá was a man of intenseḥayāʾ. He was always keen to cover himself, and his shyness did not allow for anything to be visible from his body. A group of people from the Israelites harassed him, saying, ‘You do not cover up this way except due to some [skin] defect or scrotal hernia.’ Allah wished to clear his name, so on a day when he went off to bathe in seclusion and placed his clothes on a stone, the stone ran off with his clothing. Mūsā chased after it, calling out, “O stone, my clothes! O stone, my clothes!” Ultimately, he arrived at a place where the Israelites were gathered, and they saw him naked, having the best of forms that Allah had created. They said, ‘By Allah, there is no defect in Mūsá whatsoever.’ He grabbed his clothes, and began beating the stone. And by Allah, he left six or seven marks on the stone from his strikes.”

In a famous hadith, we learn that the creation will desperately seek relief from the distress of the Last Day, rushing to each of the prophets to intercede for them before Allah so that the judgment may begin. They will approach Ādam, then Nūḥ, then Ibrāhīm, then ʿĪsáعليهم السلامand each of these mighty messengers will decline and feel unfit for this daunting task. But with Ādam, Nūḥ, and Ibrāhīm in particular, the hadith establishes that it was their feelingḥayāʾfrom their Lord that will prevent them, “due to remembering their sins.”

As for our Prophet Muhammad ﷺ, Ibn Ḥajar states that he was endowed by God with the purest innateḥayāʾ, and his acquired faith-basedḥayāʾwas of a supreme, unparalleled tier. Abū Saʿīd al-Khudrīرضي الله عنهsaid, “The Messenger of Allah ﷺ was more bashful than a virgin in herkhiḍr; when he would see something he disliked, we would know it from his face.”

Thekhiḍris the innermost corner of a house that is inaccessible to outsiders, where a young girl would find undisturbed privacy when visitors came. The sheltered virgin—as opposed to married women, or women who casually mingle with the public—has an even greater sense ofḥayāʾthan others. Hence, when the Prophet ﷺ would encounter something inappropriate, his profoundḥayāʾwould not allow him to hide his reaction; it was more obvious on his face than the reaction of a sheltered virgin who was intruded upon without notice in the most private quarters of her parents’ home. At times, it would cause his face to redden, and other times, it rendered him ﷺ unable to speak. As Abū Dahbal al-Jumaḥī, an Umayyad poet, said in a couplet of praise:

Ḥayāʾkept his words ﷺ few, as if he were sick,
Though his body had not suffered the slightest prick.

During the extraordinary night journey (al-Miʿrāj), the Prophet ﷺ went back and forth between his Lord and Mūsáعليه السلام, each time seeking another reduction in the number of daily prayers due from his nation. But after it was reduced from fifty prayers to five, and Mūsáعليه السلامstill counseled the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ to seek a further reduction, lest the people fail at upholding it, he ﷺ could not overcome hisḥayāʾto do so. He ﷺ said to Mūsáعليه السلام, “I have asked my Lord until I have become ashamed. Instead, I will accept and submit.”

ʿĀʾishahرضي الله عنهاattests that theḥayāʾof the Prophet ﷺ not only had him transcend vulgarity, but also vengeance: “The Prophet ﷺ was never vulgar, nor lewd, nor loud and unruly in the markets, nor would he repay evil with evil. Instead, he would forgive andoverlookit.”

Ḥayāʾamong the Companions and early Muslims

The Prophet’s Companions were all keen to emulate their perfect role model ﷺ in his every virtue, and the following are but some examples of the lofty states ofḥayāʾthey inherited and lived by.

It was well-known that Allah distinguished ʿUthmān b. ʿAffānرضي الله عنهin particular with this quality. The Messenger of Allah ﷺ attested to this himself, saying, “The most genuine of my nation inḥayāʾis ʿUthmān.”

It was so intense that it elicited thehayā’of the people and angels around him. In a long hadith, ʿĀʾishahرضي الله عنهاnarrates that she said to the Prophet ﷺ, “Abū Bakr entered, but you did not move nor mind… Then ʿUmar entered, but you did not move nor mind… Then ʿUthmān entered, so you sat up and fixed your clothes (covering your legs).” In response, he said, “Should I not haveḥayāʾof a man that the angels haveḥayāʾof?”

In another narration, “ʿUthmān is a bashful man. Were I to admit him while in this state, I fear that he would not mention his need to us.”

ʿĀʾishahرضي الله عنهاherself was known for her incredibleḥayāʾ, to the degree that she would be uncomfortable removing her hijab in the presence of the deceased. She says, “I used to enter the room without my veil where the Messenger of Allah ﷺ and my fatherرضي الله عنهwere buried, and would tell [myself] that it was only my husband and my father. But, by Allah, once ʿUmarرضي الله عنهwas buried [there], I never entered it without my garbs pulled over me—out ofḥayāʾof ʿUmar (RA)."

Asmāʾ bt. Abī Bakrرضي الله عنهاmentions that during the early years of her marriage to al-Zubayr, their poverty forced her into hard labor. One day, as she carried a heavy load of date pits on her head (for nearly 3 kilometers) to feed her husband’s horse, the Prophet ﷺ met her en route along with some of his Companions. He ﷺ offered her a ride on his camel, but she declined to travel with a group of unrelated men. Upon reaching al-Zubayr, she explained to him that he ﷺ “lowered [his camel] for me to ride, but I feltḥayāʾand thought of your jealousy.” He responded, “By Allah, you carrying the date pits is certainly more difficult for me to bear than you riding with him.”

Fāṭimahرضي الله عنها, the daughter of Allah’s Messenger ﷺ, once complained that she was appalled by the tight-fitted shrouds which are wrapped around a deceased woman, revealing the shape of her body. Umm Jaʿfar said: “O daughter of Allah’s Messenger ﷺ, shall I show you something I saw in Abyssinia?” She called for moist palm-fibers, bent them, then threw a garment over them. Fāṭimah said, “How wonderful and excellent this is!... If I die, you and ‘Ali wash me, and do not allow anyone to enter upon me [before dressing me in this].” Her wish was fulfilled at her funeral, and herḥayāʾlives on to guide the believing women until the end of time.

The biographies of our righteous predecessors, the earliest generations of Muslims, are also replete with exemplaryḥayāʾof Allah and of the people:

Abū Hudhayl said, “We have met people who would haveḥayāʾof Allah, even in the darkness of the night.” Al-Thawrī said, “By that, he meant feeling ashamed that their bodies might become uncovered [while sleeping].”

Muḥammad b. Sīrīn said, “I never once had relations with a woman, not while awake or asleep, except [my wife] Umm ʿAbd Allāh. I would even see a woman in my dream, then realizing that she is not permissible for me, I would avert my gaze.” Some have said, “I wish that I was as intelligent while awake as Ibn Sīrīn was while asleep.”

Muʿāwiyah b. Aws said, “I saw Hishām b. ʿAmmār. When he would walk, his gaze would be lowered to the ground, and he would never lift his head to the sky out ofḥayāʾof Allah, the Mighty and Majestic.”

Al-Ḥusayn b. Muḥammad b. Khusrū said, “Abū Bakr b. Maymūn once knocked on al-Ḥumaydī’s door. He assumed permission was granted, so he entered to find him with his thigh uncovered. This caused al-Ḥumaydī to weep and say, ‘By Allah, you have looked at a place that no person has ever seen since I reached maturity.’”

Mihrān b. ‘Amr al-Asdi narrates that he witnessed al-Fuḍayl b. ʿIyāḍ standing at the sacred site on the eve of ʿArafah, weeping so passionately that he could not even supplicate, and was saying, “Oh my shame! Oh my humiliation! Even if You forgive me!”

Muḥammad b. Abī Ḥātim narrates that Muḥammad b. Salām would say to his attendees, after Imām al-Bukhārī left the gathering, “Have you ever seen a virgin girl that has moreḥayāʾthan this man?’”

Whereḥayāʾdoes not belong

Since the Prophet ﷺ said that “Ḥayāʾbrings about nothing but good,”

Muslim scholars were keen to identify thatḥayāʾis qualified by its fruits, and condemnable when it results in violating God’s laws or usurping the rights of people. As al-Aḥnaf b. Qays once said, “Indeed,ḥayāʾhas a designated limit; whatever exceeds that, you may as well call it whatever you like.” For instance, a person may refuse to speak up when Islamically necessary, out of shyness, and another may refuse to speak up without knowledge, also out of shyness. At first glance, they both appear to be operating in light ofḥayāʾ, while Islam categorizes the first behavior as weakness and incompetence, and the second as dignity and piety. On this nuance, al-Qurṭubi writes,

The chosen one [(Prophet Muhammad)] ﷺ was certainly committed toḥayāʾhimself, and would instruct others with it and encourage it. However, hisḥayāʾwould never prevent him from speaking the truth, nor fulfilling any religious injunction. This was in adherence to His words (the Most High), “...and Allah does not shy from the truth.” (33:53)That is the epitome ofḥayāʾand its most perfect, beautiful, and balanced form.

As for someone who is overwhelmed byḥayāʾsuch that it deters him from truth, then such an individual has abandoned shyness before the Creator to be shy before the creation. Whoever is like this loses out on the benefits ofḥayāʾ, and becomes characterized with hypocrisy and showingoff.

The Islamic tradition is filled with cautionary statements against the two enemies of sacred knowledge: arrogance and embarrassment. These are both insecurities that can be misperceived asḥayāʾ, or even calledḥayāʾin the linguistic sense. In actuality, though, they are contrary to this virtue because of what they hinder, and are never a valid excuse to abort the pursuit of learning how to please God. It is fascinating to note that the Prophet ﷺ knew and sensed theḥayāʾhe had instilled in the Companions, and how he would at times preface his more explicit instructions with words that mitigated their roughness. In one hadith, “I am to you but as a father is, teaching you. As you relieve yourselves, do not face the direction of prayer, nor turn your backs to it…”

This is a Qur’anic methodology; it usually employs implicit language to avoid offending theḥayāʾof its readers, but is not constrained by this principle, since the nature of law sometimes necessitates at times language that makes people uneasy, in order to assert specific notions that would otherwise be lost in ambiguity.

We find this wise method followed by the leading scholars of the Companions as well. ʿĀʾishahرضي الله عنها,for instance, was once approached by Abū Mūsá al-Ashʿarī, who said, “O Mother of the Believers, I wish to ask you about something, but I am shy of you.” She said, “Do not be shy to ask me something that you would ask your own mother who gave birth to you, for I am but your mother.” He said, “What makes a ritual bath mandatory?” She said, “You have arrived at the best acquainted person [regarding this]. The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said, ‘If he sits between her four limbs, and the two points of circumcision meet, then a ritual bath has become mandatory.”

She was surely not boasting by labeling herself an expert, but rather commending him for not being prevented byḥayāʾfrom asking a wife of the Prophet ﷺ about a private matter like this, especially when the validity of his prayers hinged on it. In another context, ʿĀʾishahرضي الله عنهاsaid, “So excellent are the Anṣārī women; theirḥayāʾdoes not hinder them from gaining understanding of the religion.”

It is also reported that ʿAlī b. Abī Ṭālibرضي الله عنهwould say, “Whoever does not know should never be stopped byḥayāʾfrom asking until he knows, and whoever is asked about something that he does not know should never be stopped byḥayāʾfrom saying ‘I do not know.’”

Conforming to social pressure is another behavioral flaw that may come disguised asḥayāʾ, but can actually be a cowardly act. This is why being a voice of reason in the face of widespread dogma and a voice of virtue in an environment of prevalent immorality are acts of devotion in Islam. The Qur’an captures for us how all the prophets were fearless reformers, who never shied away from challenging the unethical status quo with wisdom, and so too were their genuine followers. Abū Saʿīd al-Khuḍrīرضي الله عنهnarrates that the Prophet ﷺ said, “No one of you should humiliate himself.” They said, “O Messenger of Allah, how does one of us humiliate himself?” He said, “By seeing a matter that he owes it to Allah to speak up about, and yet he does not speak up. As a result, Allah (the Mighty and Majestic) says to him on the Day of Resurrection, ‘What prevented you from saying such-and-such for My sake?’ He will say, ‘Fear of the people.’ He will say, ‘I was more deserving of being feared by you.’”

Note how the Prophet ﷺ implied here that shyness in this context was shameful, and that defying it would have meant self-respect and avoidance of true humiliation.

This principle (ḥayāʾbefore Allah being paramount) can mend so many people’s relationships with their Lord and with each other. Consider the victim who finds the courage to accuse her rapist, defying her society’s backward victim-shaming culture to save future victims. Consider the relative who has the audacity to insist that the loan be documented as the Shariah recommends, despite the lack of trust that may suggest, to preserve family bonds in thelong term. Consider the employee who is able to bring a colleague to embrace Islam by courageously praying in public or politely refusing to shake hands with the opposite gender. Biographers mention that whenever Shams al-Dīn al-Maqdisī heard anyone backbite—regardless of how notable—he would interrupt him, with a smile, by saying, “Astaghfirullāh(I seek God’s forgiveness).”

How to cultivateḥayāʾ

The following “ḥayāʾgenerators” are primary means to unearth theḥayāʾthat may be buried within us, restore its sheen when it rusts, and increase its strength through authentic faith.

1.Hāyā’offers the love of God.All people seek to connect with their Creator, and long from their depths for reassurance that He is pleased with them. This is what Islam came to offer humanity: an opportunity to discover God and enjoy the bliss of being a reflection of His light as best as a created being can. Ibn al-Qayyim said, “Whoever aligns with Allah in one of His attributes, it leads him to Allah with its reins, brings him to his Lord, brings him near to His mercy, and makes him beloved to Allah. He (the Exalted) is Merciful and loves the merciful, is Generous and loves the generous, is All-Knowing and loves the knowledgeable, is Strong and loves the strong believer more than He loves the weak believer, isḤayīand lovesḥayāʾ, beautiful and loves the people of beauty, and iswitr (uniquey one) and loves the people ofwitr[prayer].”

2. Practiceḥayāʾto experience it.The inbornḥayāʾthat dwells dormant in some people must first be revived through practice before it can be felt by our psycho-spiritual sensors. Acting contrary toḥayāʾ, along with recurrent exposure to those devoid of it, is what desensitized us to it in the first place. Therefore, awaiting the feeling of healthy shame to return on its own accord, as opposed to reconditioning ourselves upon it, is fallacious thinking. Lowering our gaze in a world saturated with shameless images, and donning the hijab as defined by Islam, not fashion trends, are two of many pathways to resuscitate our sensitivity toḥayāʾ. Just as we are told in the Qur’an that humanity’s parents felt shame and hastened to cover up, we are told that the devil’s target was to sedate theirḥayāʾand make them comfortable with being unclothed. Allah says, “O children of Ādam, let not Satan tempt you as he removed your parents from Paradise, stripping them of their clothing to show them their private parts” (al-Aʿrāf 7:27). Therefore, we must normalize the dictates ofḥayāʾin our conduct, before we can expect to experienceḥayāʾin our hearts.

3. Reverential fear through sacred knowledge.The pinnacle ofḥayāʾis to be more watchful of Allah’s gaze than that of people, just as Islam’s pinnacle (i.e.,iḥsān) is to “worship Allah as though you see Him, and if you cannot see Him, then know that He sees you.”

This station is reached by reflecting on the omniscient nature of the Divine,al-Raqīb(the Observer),al-Shahīd(the Witness),al-Samīʿ(the All-Hearing),al-Baṣīr(the All-Seeing),al-Muḥīṭ(the All-Encompassing). Ḥātim al-Aṣamm said, “If a spy were sitting by you, you would be on guard from him, yet your words are displayed before Allah and you are not on guard?” Ibn ʿAbbāsرضي اللهعنهماsaid, “O sinner who feels secure of awful consequences, be sure that what follows a sin is greater than the sin you commit. Your lack ofḥayāʾfrom those [angels] on your right and left as you sin is greater than the sin you commit. Your laughter, despite not knowing what Allah will do with you, is greater than the sin. Your sadness when you missed the opportunity to sin, is greater than the sin, had you committed it. Your fear of the wind when it moves your door’s curtain as you sin, and your heart not shuddering from Allah’s gaze upon you, is greater than the sin, had you committed it.” Imām Aḥmad once heard Abu Ḥāmid al-Khalqāni recite these two couplets of poetry:

When my Lord says to me,
Had you no shame to disobey Me?
You hide the sins from My creation,
And with those sins you come to Me?

...At once, he instructed al-Khalqānī to repeat them to him, and he did. Having learned them, the Imām headed to his home, repeating them time and again as he wept, imagining himself on the receiving end of that chastisem*nt. Once a person realizes that his Lord is looking at him, this certainty yieldsḥayāʾbefore Allah, which drives him to bear the burdens of obedience. It is similar to the one who joyfully serves his beloved; you find him energetic in his work and enduring its encumbrances, especially if his beloved is kind and benevolent towards him. In that vein, the gaze of Allah, the Mighty and Majestic, is never absent from His slaves. But when the slaves become heedless of their Master looking at them, this spawns insolence and a lack ofḥayāʾwithin them.

4.Recalling Allah’s immense favors.Ḥayāʾalso arises from noticing the gracious treatment one endlessly enjoys from Allah, because dignified people cannot bear to be inconsiderate with those who are kind and courteous with them, so how can this not generate healthy shame before one’s Lord whose blessings are innumerable? Al-Junayd would say, “Ḥayāʾis about seeing the favors and realizing one’s shortcomings. From between these two, a condition is born calledḥayāʾ, and its reality is a quality that drives one to leave indecency, and prevents one from failing to deliver the rights of each being.” It is also reported that Dhun-Nūn al-Miṣri said, “Belonging to Allah are slaves that left sinning out ofḥayāʾof His generosity, after having left it out of fear of His punishment. If He said to you, ‘Do what you wish, and I will not hold you responsible for sinning,’ His generosity should increase yourḥayāʾof Him, and your abstinence from disobeying Him—if you are truly a noble, free, grateful slave. How then should yourḥayāʾbe when He has in fact threatened you [with punishment]?” Ibn al-Sammāk said, “He (the Glorified) has tolerated you until it was almost as if He overlooked you. Will you not haveḥayāʾfrom Allah in light of how long you have not hadḥayāʾ?”

5.Spiritual refinement through devotion.Feeling near to Allah and feeling protective of that honored rank are cultivated by pure ritual devotion and sincere acts of service. When done diligently and regularly, they feed a person’s faith and become powerful deterrents against indecent behavior, as Allah says about the prayer, “Indeed, the prayer prohibits immorality and wrongdoing.” (al-ʿAnkabūt: 29: 45) It was once said to the Messenger of Allah ﷺ, “So-and-so prays the entire night, then when the morning arrives, he steals!” He ﷺ said, “His prayer will [eventually] restrain him.”

6.Hover aroundḥayāʾ.Socialization is the most influential force in most people’s lives, and this can be a huge resource in inculcatingḥayāʾin our personalities. In addition to rehearsing the virtues ofḥayāʾand the dangers of disregarding it, immersing oneself in the biographies of the earliest generations of Islam is of paramount importance towards imbibing this quality. This should also be supplemented with good company, to visually absorb how restrained the pious are in their glances, how selective they are in their words, and how their self-respect makes them incapable of settling for the standards of others. Mujāhid b. Jabr used to say, “If a Muslim does not benefit anything from his brother, except that hisḥayāʾfrom him keeps him from sinning, that is sufficient.”

7.Treasure honesty.Many people are unfazed when lying to a child, due to considering the child (and the “fib”) to be trivial, but may find it difficult to lie to an elder, due to the reverence their seniority brings. Similarly, it is only people who hold themselves in high regard thatshyaway from dishonesty, be it with Allah, or with the people, or with themselves. For this reason, scholars advise people seeking redemption from a sinful life to begin with honesty, as that will reinstate in them a sense of self-worth, and thereby erect the fence ofḥayāʾbetween them and their dark past. Perhaps this is among the reasons why the Prophet ﷺ said, “Adhere to truthfulness, for truthfulness certainly leads to righteousness, and righteousness certainly leads to Paradise. And a person will be truthful, and insist on remaining truthful, until he is written with Allah as aṣiddīq(strong confirmer of the truth).”

Conclusion

We ask Allah to forgive us for whatever misplaced statements or intentions this paper may contain, for any statements that don’t match our actions, and for all we have showcased of knowledge regardingḥayāʾwhile being negligent in practicing it. May He make us act on our knowledge, seeking His Face, and not hold our shortcomings against us. Indeed, He is Most Gracious, Most Generous.

Notes

1Aḥmad b. Ḥanbal,Musnad al-Imām Aḥmad(Beirut: Muʾassasat al-Risālah, 2001), no. 8952; authenticated by al-Albānī.

2Muḥammad b. Yazīd al-Qazwīni Ibn Mājah,Sunan Ibn Mājah(Cairo: Dār Iḥyāʾ al-Kutub al-ʿArabīyah, 2011), no. 4181; authenticated by al-Albānī.

3Muhammad Ismail al-Muqaddim,Fiqh al-Hayaʾ: Understanding the Islamic Concept of Modesty(IIPH, 2015). His references are in the book itself; only the Qur’an and hadith citations are footnoted in this paper.

4“And so they ate from it; whereupon their bodies became visible to them, and they started covering themselves with the leaves of the Garden. Thus Adam disobeyed his Lord, and fell.” Qur’an 20:121.

5“O Children of Adam! Do not let Satan seduce you, as he drove your parents out of the Garden, stripping them of their garments, to show them their nakedness. He sees you, him and his clan, from where you cannot see them. We have made thedevilsfriends of those who do not believe.” Qur’an 7:27.

6Muḥammad b. Ismā‘īl al-Bukhārī,al-Jāmi‘ al-Musnad al-Ṣaḥīḥ(Beirut: Dār Ṭawq al-Najāh, 2001), no. 6971; Muslim b. Ḥajjāj al-Naysābūri,al-Musnad al-Ṣaḥīḥ(Beirut: Dār Ihyā’ at-Turāth al-‘Arabi), no. 1420.

7Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim, no. 2553.

8ʿAlī b. ʿUmar al-Dāraquṭnī,Sunan al-Dāraquṭnī(Beirut: Muʾassasat al-Risālah, 2004), nos. 2885 and 2886; authenticated by al-Albānī.

9Muḥammad b. ʿAbd Allāh al-Ḥākim,al-Mustadrak ‘alá al-ṣaḥīḥayn(Beirut: Dār al-Kutub al-ʿIlmīyah, 1990), no. 58; authenticated by al-Ḥākim according to the criteria of al-Bukhārī and Muslim, and al-Dhahabī concurred.

10Muḥammad b. ʿĪsá al-Tirmidhī,Sunan al-Tirmidhī(Egypt: Maṭbaʿat Musṭafá al-Ḥalabī, 1975), no. 2009; gradedḥasan-ṣaḥīḥby al-Tirmidhī, and authenticated by al-Albānī.

11Sunan al-Tirmidhī, no. 2027; authenticated by al-Albānī.

12Sunan al-Tirmidhī, no. 3556; authenticated by al-Albānī.

13Aḥmad b. Shuʿayb al-Nasāʾī,Sunan al-Nasāʾī(Aleppo: Maktabat al-Maṭbū‘āt al-Islāmiyyah, 1986), no. 406; authenticated by al-Albāni.

14Sunan al-Tirmidhī, no. 2769; gradedḥasan(acceptable) by al-Albānī.

15Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī, no.5721, Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim, no.2990.

16Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī, no. 3483.

17Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī, no. 278;Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim, no. 339.

18Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī, no. 4712;Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim,no.194.

19Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī, no. 6102.

20Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī, no. 7517;Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim, no. 162.

21Sunan al-Tirmidhī, no. 2016; authenticated by al-Ḥākim according to the criteria of al-Bukhārī and Muslim, and both al-Dhahabi and al-Albānī concurred.

22Sunan al-Tirmidhī, no. 3790;Sunan Ibn Mājah, no. 154; authenticated by al-Albānī.

23Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim, no. 2401.

24Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim, no. 2402.

25Musnad Aḥmad, no. 25660; authenticated by al-Ḥākim, al-Haythami, and al-Albāni.

26Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī, no. 5224;Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim, no. 2182.

27Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī, no. 6117;Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim, no. 37.

28Sunan al-Nasāʾī, no. 40; deemedḥasan-ṣaḥīḥby al-Albānī.

29Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim, no. 349.

30Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī, no. 38.

31Sunan Ibn Mājah, no. 4008; authenticated by al-Arnāʾūṭ.

32Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī, no. 50;Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim, no. 8.

33Musnad Aḥmad, no. 9776; authenticated by Ibn Ḥibbān and al-Wādiʿī.

34Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī, no. 6094.